Freak out!

I guess it's normal to be a little crazy in the first trimester, but as usual, I take things to extremes. I'm just so paranoid! I almost bought more pregnancy tests this afternoon, but the store I was at was out so I guess I shouldn't test anyway. I also took my temperature this morning and it was low. The thing is - I took it after I brushed my teeth instead of taking my basal body temperature. That means nothing, but I took it to heart and was sad all day. I took my prenatal vitamin on an empty stomach just to get that queasy feeling and then didn't eat an afternoon snack either just to get nauseous again. It's crazy to want to feel sick, but I find it reassuring. I'll probably have a huge grin on my face if I start puking. Hopefully I'm not tempting fate to get awful, nonstop morning sickness.

My symptoms aren't anything much to write about. Other than occasional mild nausea, increased CM, increased saliva, sore back, and extreme moodiness, I'm not feeling much of anything. That's normal at this stage, but that's not all that comforting.

I gave my mom a card last night that shared the news and it was very fun to see her face. It was also fun to tell my dad over the phone. He was speechless for a few minutes. Dad is such a softy. It feels good for them to know, but it also makes me a little more worried. If I miscarried before, the only people that would know would be my sisters and internet friends. Now there are more people. However, there are more people to share in the joy. I just have to hope that things turn out great. I don't know when we'll tell Jon's parents now. I want them to know, but I don't like how I'm feeling right now. I love them and want to share with them, but Jon and I are both feeling cautious. It's nuts I guess, but we have reason to be concerned.

I should be all happy and excited today, but I'm kind of a downer, aren't I? Part of it stems from my afternoon. Remember how there's a girl in school that's due a week before my original August due date? Her little baby boy was kicking while she was in my room so people were feeling her tummy and oohing and ahhing. I can only imagine what that would have done to me if things wouldn't have turned around on Monday. It bothered me even though I have my own pregnancy now. I'll never forget that little angel.